For Jean
Right around the time my Mom, Jean, passed on 12/28/20, I was sitting at the piano and this tune just jumped out at me. I was telling Patty just after I finished it that it felt like there was an old vaudeville spirit compelling me to actualize a song that he/she had in their head. I didn’t make any connection yet with it being about/from/for my Mom.
I had most of the tune in about 10 minutes but it needed arranging and finalizing (as they all do) and this is a fun/tortuous process.
In the middle of all this I heard the news that my Mom had passed, and as part of the emotional swell of it all, I continued to tinker with the arrangement while playing, resting, sleeping, etc. it was a strong nudge.
Then I made the connection, and it was only January 2nd that the arrangement puzzle fell into place. I’d been laboring over the arrangement with much frustration. It might sound like a simple song but it is deceptively complex in the way the pieces follow each other. I sliced and diced it every which way and then it just came together. It’s a rough recording with a few mistakes (some of the mistakes actually improve the melody, so there you go) but it really captured the spirit of the idea.
The amazing thing is that when I listen to it, all worry and unhappiness just melt away. Every time I listen I can empirically say that, from somewhere deep inside, my Mom’s attitude about life rises into me and I can hear her say that it’s all good, and that I shouldn’t worry, and that I should celebrate her life in an upbeat way with appreciation and inspiration, so it’s not a regret, it’s a tribute to a life well-lived on her own terms.
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Neil LoRe